Masked ...WORKING AWAY...ordering you by pointing ...shouting hitler style ... nodding to the front of the store ... you give the "I'm begging you for mercy, please throw me a bone ..." look to the lady sitting in the chair waiting and she mumbles back to you ...quietly "pick a color" and you whisper back "I don't want a color I want a french manicure ....and suddently ...
'WHAT? WHAT YOU SAY? WHAT YOU SAY TO HER? WHAT WRONG? PICACULLAH!!!!!!'
"I said I want a french manicure so I don't need a color ..."
'YOU WANT WHY O WHYWHY'
(Again begging for mercy to your right ...)
"white or white white"
WTF does that mean ... how many whites could their possibly be in a french manicure ...TWO EVIDENTLY - why or whywhy.
They are so good aren't they? SO fast and efficient. So affordable. So convenient because I don't have to have a standing appointment. It really is awesome ...
Except the part where they are giving me a pedicure and do the "stop-and-gawk-and-talk-and-cock-and-mock."
Stop ...after they are done drying the wet feet that have just come out of the soapy lukewarm water ...gawk at something they find less than alright with them ... talk ...in a language I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO PICK UP DESPITE YEARS AND HOURS OF SITTING LISTENING ...to their co-workers in the store ....COCK their heads in the direction of my feet over and over ...and then MOCK me as they casually saunter by and then die laughing and talk some more amongst themselves but don't make eye contact with me SO I WON'T KNOW THEY'RE LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF AT MY DISGUSTING FEET.
I just hate that ...there just might be something to making an appointment, every two weeks,same time same place ... paying 20 bucks more... toes and nails not looking near as fabulous and getting to recap how stupid "The Hills" was this week... but damn it I won't have high blood pressure at any moment during my 'TREATMENT' ...
I just think my time away from the pistol (and what is she by now an uzi?) is just so precious - to stare at a wall and 'check out' if you will ...must they have such a belly laugh at my expense?
I know, not one of you relates. It only happens to me and my feet. And I'm the only one that ponders making a change, and then knowing "hell no...I'll never be able to keep the appointment..." And I'm the only one hidous enough to make a post like this.
Laughing at myself as usual ...
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5 comments:
White or white-white - you taught me that one when I was out visiting you - hilarious! And yes, they always yell at you when you enter the store: "Pick ya cah-lah." One time the guy doing my nails said I had picked out a "sassy cah-lah" and kept talking about the sassy cah-lah the entire manicure. Adam and I still get a kick out of that one! I don't care if they laugh and make fun of me in a langauage I don't understand. . .for me, it's the one time each month I get to read trashy magazines and zone out! I love it!!
fan-freaking-tastic!
this is totally hysterical and happens to me too! have you seen the Anjelah Johnson video on You-Tube? you will cry you'll laugh so hard!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsWrY77o77o
MC I just looked at that You Tube - I hadn't seen it - that is EXACTLYYYY RIGHT!!! I have tears I am laughing so hard...dy-ing.
You are so funny! You are right on! I had my toe run over by my 1 yr olds walker, my toe was black & blue, and they brought me fungi remover, & they were all whispering at each other. They really need to be more professional. i will never go to another one again!
Last time I got a pedi (I go like twice a year) they had to bring out a freaking BROOM to sweep up all of the nastiness they peeled off of my heels. I wanted to crawl into the foaming tub of foot scum and hide but I was too relaxed in my vibrating pleather chair. :)
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