YES IT'S 12:45 AND MY HAPPY ASS CAN'T SLEEP.
It may, or may not have to do with the double tall extra whip (in a grande cup so as not to short me any coffee or whip...) I drank at 'BIBLE STUDY' ....which of course turned quickly into gab fest. Don't worry it wasn't gossip...it was all TRUE. haha. No no - it was about our woes, no one else's. And don't everyone pass out that I go to bible study ... IT'S AT STARBUCKS...OF COURSE I GO ...ONLY WAY I GET OUT OF THE HOUSE ON A THURSDAY NIGHT, KID FREE, WHILST DR. TEATS LOADS (with pizza) AND CLEANS (in bubble bath) THE PISTOLS.
It's really an awesome deal. Dr. Teats will get Treats tomorrow night as he was already in bed by the time I RETURNED from my blissful evening tonight.
So this is all I have to say tonight ... I just read that Kelly McGillis...the hot chick from Top Gun ...has come out of the closet. DUH, SHE KISSED TOM CRUISE... SICK, NEXT IT WILL BE Katie Holmes. YOU WATCH. I'm pretty sure Nicole Kidman is safely hetero since she's with MR. FREAKIN' HOT PANTS HIMSELF Keith Urban. (I don't care how short that mf'er is, he's H-O-T.) Anyhoo ... Tom Cruise is as gay as the day is long ...('NO OFFENSE' to quote MISS CALIFORNIA).
This wasn't near as devastating as the "coming out" news years ago about MY BELOVED *while equally short* Ty Herndon...whom none of you have ever heard of... but, I SOLEMNLY SWEAR, I CRIED WITH HORROR. Don't worry - I didn't hook up with the dude, on his bus, after meeting he and his band, when he appeared in an outdoor concert locally, and his bus driver took to me and my friend... (work the bus driver ladies...that's the ticket...)
He only privately sang to me... "You Can Leave Your Hat On" in WHITE elasticized sweat pants and a tie-dye t shirt and Birkenstocks, and tinted blue glasses ...because while he was wearing his SMOKIN', DELIGHTFULLY, HOT...black leather tight ass pants and HOT PEC-TIGHT TSHIRT on stage during his performance, he chose NOT to perform... "You Can Leave Your Hat On" which was what I went for in the first place. Gay. Gay. Gay. Clearly I'd smuggled one too many Vodkas into my "7/11 Big Gulp" of "LEMONADE" at the "alcohol free concert" ...because HOW ELSE DO YOU NOT DO THE MATH AT THAT POINT.
What a dumb ass.
Which, quite frankly, I think is better than a NUMB ass.
I'm just saying.
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3 comments:
He is?!?!?!? That is a shame - a darn shame.
dumb ass, better than a numb ass. I am rolling on the floor laughing, ok, not actually on the floor but totally laughing so LOUD
Tom Cruise is gay as a three dollar bill for sure. Poor Katy Holmes. Poor my ass? She signed on to the best money making deal of the century.
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