No no, not the kind you're thinking of. Although they always sound good, they make me blow it out the back like a salad shooter.
I went to the store this morning to buy some beautiful orchids for my daughter's preschool teachers ... call it keepin' up with the Dutch Mafia if you want (the super moms that drive the 30 ft long, shiny and immaculate Escalades with the killer boat sticker on the window, show up at 8am looking like they just stepped off a fashion show runway, but insist they're on their way to the gym *code for botox injections* and they bake the best cupcakes, have 2 camcorders at the programs just in case one dies, and bid $6000.00 on the classroom sponsored beach themed family basket at the school silent auction fundraiser. You know who I'm talking about.) ... but I refuse to be a TOTAL loser. I'd already gotten a flyer in my box earlier this week from the Dutch Mafia (mom of said Dutch 3 year classmate of the pistols...)that it was the preschool head teacher's 70th birthday and to remind the children to bring "hand made notes" (WTF? NO STARBUCKS CARDS? HAND MADE NOTES TAKE SOOOOO MUCH TIME...EYE YI YI.) This mommy was sooooo on top of it, she provided pizza, a home made cake for teacher, and baked cupcakes for the kids ... it's a wonder she didn't show up at the last day of school picnic today with home made lasagna and tiramisu ... and a tossed salad to boot. (You know we rocked McDonalds happy meals and Starbucks amidst the plethora of Longaberger picnic baskets filled with yogurts, apples, cheese and bottled water, beach umbrellas.)
Sooo, speaking of tossed salad ... (eh hem)
While at the store ... I see this guy who I pull in right next to ..he was drivin' kind of a cool lookin' new model VW so I'm kinda starin' it down and then starin' him down...because as he hustles off to the store doors, he's walkin' like he has a stick up his ass ... and, well, he may have moments earlier ... but this is what I need you to know. Upon purchasing my orchids and heading back to the car - I parked my cart between our cars to get the Bazooka in her car seat, and so I take an opportunity to glance into this little VW ... (it intrigued me) only to see a big 'ole yellow DONUT for him to sit on in his driver's seat. OH.MY.LORD. I literally laughed out loud and looked around to make sure I wasn't on candid camera.
Guess he DOESN'T have a numb ass like THE MOCHA FREAK. Bet he wishes he did.
I'm just saying.
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2 comments:
First of all, thank you for the white pages info - very valuable.
Seriously, 6k for a PREschool auction???
Donut - love it! Shoulda asked him where he bought it.
Can I just say how much I love you? :) I needed that laugh. It's been one of those days. Thank you!
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