My niece graduated from Cal Berkeley with honors this weekend ...it was a PROUD moment for me, the AUNTIE. I traveled for hours to get there ...of cousre I did - WOULDN'T MISS IT!!! (Plus, sister, graduate's momma, flew in from Nashville to attend and I couldn't miss an opportunity to see her...)
So proud, that when I checked into the Holiday Inn ... late in the evening ... and noticed a handsome young man that looked like THAT ASSHOLE Jason from the bachelor and MORE IMPORTANTLY ... bore a striking resemblance to pictures I've seen of a boy that's been hanging with my niece for the past year ...
(this is where you say ..."please tell us you didn't introduce yourself ....")
Sorry ... couldn't help myself ... he's standing there with what appears to be mom and grandma ...Auntie big hair (my other sister) and I yell around the big crafstman style pillar ..."HEY,,,,,MIKE." (nothing from him, we're giggling like mad dogs) "HEY....MIIIIIKEEE!" (Still nothing. More cackling.) Auntie big hair thought it would be good to press the issue ... "excuse me are you Mike?"
He replies with a sickened look at both of us:
"Uhhhh, I'm 'A' Mike ..."
haha. Love him already. Sarcastic piece of shit. I laughed so hard I was doubled over ...
"WE'RE THE AUNTIES!!!! YIPPEEEE! HERE FOR GRADUATION!!!! WE'RE SO EXCITED ..."
He stares with a, um, smirk, can't even say smile, still appearing to be on the verge of vomit (which translates into WTF HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO ...MY GIRLFRIEND'S FAMILY ARE FREAKSHOWS...)
We introduce ourselves by name... he hesitantly, yet politely introduces us to mom and grandma who are CLEARLY AS ECSTATIC AS THE AUNTIES to be meeting the girlfriend's aunties in the lobby.
We text messaged the niece:
'GUESS WHAT? WE JUST MET MIKE, HIS MOM, AND GRANDMA IN THE LOBBY!!!! TEE HEE HEE'
Niece...although thrilled we traveled HOURS to watch her graduate from college ...
READY.TO.KICK.OUR.ASSES.
haha.
I know, you had to be there. But it was fun to rewrite it because I just laughed my ass off playing it all back.
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So funny. Poor kid. Glad you gals got a good cackle out of it. I would have done the same thing (or encouraged a more extroverted friend to!) I'm so proud of your niece! Both of those girls are so smart and beautiful. Glad you had a good time. Thanks for the hilarious post. As always, you made me laugh.
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