WAS IT REALLY...

a Happy Mothers Day??? :) It had potential ...and started off well. Really it did.

We are all blessed aren't we? Yes. I have great kids...am so blessed to be a mom. I also have a wonderful mom we honored today. I even love my mother in law (this time around...anyhow.) The bottom line is, life ain't a picnic in this MANSION on mother's day - I mean - OF COURSE THE MOCHA ARRIVED RIGHT ON SCHEDULE this morning like clock work... the pistols ran into the bathroom with their adorable cards and traced hand prints... :) That's a 'cute' morning ...YES?

Things were SUPER cute, until we left for church - separate vehicles because I was staying second service (yes, I'm into volunteering in the kids classes at church Y'ALL ... you CAN love Jesus, teach KIDS about Jesus, and occasionally drink and cuss, I'm living proof) ...and, all of that said... I was backing my vehicle out of the garage...and the blissful mood I was in because of the AWESOME day I knew Dr. Teats had planned for me, I handed the pistol the garage door opener and allowed her to do the "closing ...." I'd say 'YOU conclude...' but it's just so jacked up not to WRITE IT 'OUT LOUD' ... she hit the close button just as I started backing out ...the ripping and tearing I heard atop my yukon was far worse than nails on a chalk board. F BOMB IN MY HEAD... DR. TEATS IN MY REAR VIEW MIRROR HAVING JUMPED OUT OF HIS TRUCK - HANDS ON HIS HEAD...ALSO DROPPING F BOMBS, *but the 'out-loud' kind*. Unfortunately, I couldn't BLURT OUT the 'WHAT THE F WERE YOU THINKING?' that I wanted to HOLLA to the 4 yr old. So I had to settle for the banging on the steering wheel, and MOUTHING over and over - SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. shit. Seriously... shit.

The baby is saying "happy mommy??? YOU HAPPY???? HAPPY MOMMY" with loads of concern...poor little thing had the best view of me at the moment ...and she too, knew the day had just taken a turn for the worse.

Tears in the back seat, tears in the front ... Dr. Teats ...I'm pretty sure READY to cry... contemplating what would be easier ...continuing to live with us, or cutting a HUGE ASS check every month in alemony and child support. He was PISSED. I knew whatever big plans he had... had just folded.

The rest of the day is CHAOTIC ... OMG ... because you know, we're still mommies after all right? We still have the pistols to take care of, in my case...his teat-ness to take care of ...a lunch to provide for my own mom and sister ... (and their families too ...) - thus, a mess to clean up, and now chlorinated babies to bathe ...:) Sweet teats (trust me that's the Dr. NOT ME, there is nothin sweet about my teats...) actually did pull through and bathed the girls while I cleaned which is nice ... and so now, I sit, in my perch - feet up ...AIR CONDITION BLASTING ...IN MY COZY SWEATSHIRT AND LOUNGE PANTS. If only I had a mocha that wouldn't keep me up til dawn. ;)

The highlight of my day may have been my mom asking me about the lipton green tea I was serving her (aside her large serving of ice cream, chocolate syrup and strawberries smothered in sugar) ... and me letting her know that she might want to just skip the weight watchers (which she had said moments ago she was going to be starting any minute), pick up another jug of the green tea, and...she may or may not want to pick up a tube of ...

AQUAFOR.

SHE DON'T NEED NO DIET.

How was that for some mother's day advice...*not to mention exceptional grammar*??? Ehhh?