Thursday, March 22, 2012


So, I worked out today. First, I worked the mocha to my mouth. That's comparable to "curls" I'm pretty sure....yes?

Bottom line is, I didn't want to go to the trainer at 9am, and here is the problem: PISTOL drop off is at 8:15.... which means, Starbucks - 8:20 ... the issue is from 8:25, to 8:50 when I have effing 25 minutes to really think over how I'm gonna get out of the work out. And trust me, it all goes through my head, "I started." "Dr Teats needs me to take something to the accounant, AT NINE PROMPTLY" "GOTTA TAKE DOG TO VET, NINE IS THE ONLY OPTION" I mean seriously ... I'm not gonna lie, especially to my FRIENDS, but these thoughts DO cross my mind, DAILY. Really pathetic honestly. It's not really a shocker that I'm a big girl, is it now?

Needless to say, I went. Dragging ass. I went. Whining.

I'm learning to cope a little though ... by finding the fun, in fitness. hahahahahaha ...what a freakin' joke. There is nothing fun about it - I still hate it, but like yesterday for instance, this lady came into "the dark side" (that's the side with five chicks and one trainer) from the "chosen side" (one on one from the BIG shot) ... and she's probably 60 so BLESS HER HEART for being there... but my issue comes when she trots into the bathroom, on OUR side. You know what happens next. It's already like a sauna in there, I'm already dying, dripping sweat, - I didn't need any help with steam, let alone stinky steam. Torture chamber. Honest to God ... thought I might die, first of choking, then looking at one of my besties trying to do her circuit stop, doubled over laughing because we're thinking the same thing, cross eyed while we think... too much. Seriously too much... I proceeded to announce I'm bringing my own air freshener every week. JUST.IN.CASE. (cause you know Karma is a bitch, and I WAS LAUGHING MY ASS OFF, well not literally, unfortunately.)


Today, no lady in said chamber, but I made fun of myself. A lot. Like, when I was told to do 100 squats, and at 23, yelled at the top of my lungs 'NINETY NINE!!!!!' The room erupted, they all know I'm the fat one, who sweats after 3 squats and two situps, DROPS GASPY F BOMBS, and still does pushups on my knees, you know, the girl way. F em, I am a girl. A FAT GIRL WHO LOVES TO EAT, OH, AND DRINK.

So, that was fun, doing 50 situps, my friends, is NOT. It doesn't get better, I don't look forward to going, it's all a nightmare. Bottom line is, the muffin top ain't gettin' any smaller thanks to said 8:20 daily Starbucks run....and I LOVE ME SOME MOCHA, WITH, EXTRA WHIPPED CREAM BABY. I refuse to compromise the Mocha. Even if it means SQUATS IN A STINKY SAUNA.

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