Went and worked out tonight ...
Took care of my 'other' wifely duties. (leaving the pink tampax box out on the bathroom counter didn't work evidently ...)
Packed 3 suitcases for week long lake trip.
Sat down to facebook, and ate a bowl of Coco Puffs...
What on earth did I work out for?
Damn it.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
I SUCK, but cheers to Electrolux
...no, I know I'm crass but it's not THAT kind of post today.
Dr Teats had the new fridge delivered yesterday ...
He failed to mention, however, that he was having a washer and dryer come too. You'd think, I'd have been ecstatic ...except for the gazillion loads of laundry I was planning on doing at naptime (from week vacation, FOR week vacation) - whilst the pistols were out of my hair napping.
Nevertheless, I got over myself and welcomed my new set of Electrolux front loaders... (having quickly decluttered and delentified the laundry room in 20 minutes). I didn't pick the things, had no idea what they were capable of, didn't even ask for the suckers, BUT DAMNNNNNN I THINK I'M GONNA ENJOY LAUNDRY A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT MORE!!!
All was bliss until later in the evening ...I'm out with a girlfriend having cocktails and dinner ...Dr. Teats, home with pistols - TEXTS me..."WHERE DID YOU PUT THE CLOTHES THAT WERE IN THE DRYER?"
I laughed out loud and responded: "I checked the washer, not the dryer ... sorry!!! OOPS. Guess the clothes are on their way to habitat for humanity with the washer and dryer.... haha"
I got no LOL reply back...I'm just saying. I've told you he doesn't think I'm funny.
Lucky for me, (and Dr. Teats) MR-APPLIANCE-GUY had already intercepted them and they were nicely folded and in a box.
I'm such a freaking awesome wife ... a) Dr. Teats does his own laundry and b) Dr. Teats surprises me with new washer and dryer and I don't even bother to check to see if he's left clothes from his laundry run the night before ...c) IT ALL MAKES ME LAUGH!!! hahahaha. Horrid, horrid, horrid wife, and thus, I SUCK. (and evidently am going to be doing more of it having just received some RAD appliances...:) )
Cheers to Electrolux, (and sucking.)
Dr Teats had the new fridge delivered yesterday ...
He failed to mention, however, that he was having a washer and dryer come too. You'd think, I'd have been ecstatic ...except for the gazillion loads of laundry I was planning on doing at naptime (from week vacation, FOR week vacation) - whilst the pistols were out of my hair napping.
Nevertheless, I got over myself and welcomed my new set of Electrolux front loaders... (having quickly decluttered and delentified the laundry room in 20 minutes). I didn't pick the things, had no idea what they were capable of, didn't even ask for the suckers, BUT DAMNNNNNN I THINK I'M GONNA ENJOY LAUNDRY A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT MORE!!!
All was bliss until later in the evening ...I'm out with a girlfriend having cocktails and dinner ...Dr. Teats, home with pistols - TEXTS me..."WHERE DID YOU PUT THE CLOTHES THAT WERE IN THE DRYER?"
I laughed out loud and responded: "I checked the washer, not the dryer ... sorry!!! OOPS. Guess the clothes are on their way to habitat for humanity with the washer and dryer.... haha"
I got no LOL reply back...I'm just saying. I've told you he doesn't think I'm funny.
Lucky for me, (and Dr. Teats) MR-APPLIANCE-GUY had already intercepted them and they were nicely folded and in a box.
I'm such a freaking awesome wife ... a) Dr. Teats does his own laundry and b) Dr. Teats surprises me with new washer and dryer and I don't even bother to check to see if he's left clothes from his laundry run the night before ...c) IT ALL MAKES ME LAUGH!!! hahahaha. Horrid, horrid, horrid wife, and thus, I SUCK. (and evidently am going to be doing more of it having just received some RAD appliances...:) )
Cheers to Electrolux, (and sucking.)
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I SAID IT ON MY FACEBOOK STATUS
...and I'll say it again ... and again, b/c I'm in that much agony...
With your "foam roll up" and "small sweat towel" ...you should be handed a vicodin at local gym while participating in PILATES.
F...! SERIOUSLY. I'M DYING. WHO KNEW? Well, except for Jennifer Aniston ... I now totally get her ridiculous body and all the WORK that went into it. How on earth was I under the impression that Pilates was a little stretching class for an hour and you come out of there looking like a sculpted goddess???
I woke up this morning and had to ask myself, "wait, did I deliver a 10 lb 2 oz pistol yesterday...or is this EXCRUCIATING PAIN FROM THAT PILATES CLASS?" Well - turns out, this pain, TRUMPS the delivery of said 10 lb 2 oz pistol... Well, let's be honest...pilates doesn't really effect the parts of my body that required LAYERS AND LAYERS OF DERMAPLAST... but that's another blog...but I digress. PILATES, KICKED, MY FREAKING, LARD, ASS.
You know when you're in a class - and there are mirrors all around, and they SAY they're to help you make sure you're assuming the correct posture and form... WELL I CALL BULLSHIT. I say, it's so mocha drinkin' mommas like yours truly, can look over in the mirror, in SHEER PAIN, feeling like they're tighting every last inch of existing flab in their body ... ONLY TO DISCOVER, THE MUFFIN, IS HANGING, LIMP, LIKE A FLOUR SACK FROM MY PERFECTLY POSITIONED 'PISSY PUSSY CAT' (OR WHATEVER THEY CALL IT) POSE ...
OH MY LAWD. DEEEEE-sgusting. It was like a train wreck...I didn't want to look at it as it was making me feel sick...but I couldn't look away - it was the craziest shape the muffin has ever contorted to... I prefer the muffin looking like a muffin...I mean if it's gonna be a muffin top, then, look like a muffin top, not like a 25 lb tub of lard hanging from my middle ...
If this was supposed to be motivating? NEWSFLASH... IT WASN'T. It was horrifying... the muffin was way bigger and limper than I thought it was ..
GUESS I GOTTA GET ME SOME SPANX FOR PILATES CLASS.
Can I cuss now? F F F F F. I hurt. My neck hurts, my arms hurt, my sides ache, my back hurts, my quads hurt, my ASS hurts ... It is official pilates instructor lady, the lactic acid has officially built up in my glutes and I'M ON FIRE.
SOMEBODY GET ME A G.D. VICODIN ALREADY!!! Thank you Sweet Baby Jesus for a certain Gall Bladder Surgery and not polishing all of my pain killers off at once. I KNEW I'd need those blasted pills for a rainy day...D day.
TODAY IS D DAY... DAMNTHATPILATESCLASSSUCKEDMORETHANLABOR day.
Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to pop a pill I go ...
With your "foam roll up" and "small sweat towel" ...you should be handed a vicodin at local gym while participating in PILATES.
F...! SERIOUSLY. I'M DYING. WHO KNEW? Well, except for Jennifer Aniston ... I now totally get her ridiculous body and all the WORK that went into it. How on earth was I under the impression that Pilates was a little stretching class for an hour and you come out of there looking like a sculpted goddess???
I woke up this morning and had to ask myself, "wait, did I deliver a 10 lb 2 oz pistol yesterday...or is this EXCRUCIATING PAIN FROM THAT PILATES CLASS?" Well - turns out, this pain, TRUMPS the delivery of said 10 lb 2 oz pistol... Well, let's be honest...pilates doesn't really effect the parts of my body that required LAYERS AND LAYERS OF DERMAPLAST... but that's another blog...but I digress. PILATES, KICKED, MY FREAKING, LARD, ASS.
You know when you're in a class - and there are mirrors all around, and they SAY they're to help you make sure you're assuming the correct posture and form... WELL I CALL BULLSHIT. I say, it's so mocha drinkin' mommas like yours truly, can look over in the mirror, in SHEER PAIN, feeling like they're tighting every last inch of existing flab in their body ... ONLY TO DISCOVER, THE MUFFIN, IS HANGING, LIMP, LIKE A FLOUR SACK FROM MY PERFECTLY POSITIONED 'PISSY PUSSY CAT' (OR WHATEVER THEY CALL IT) POSE ...
OH MY LAWD. DEEEEE-sgusting. It was like a train wreck...I didn't want to look at it as it was making me feel sick...but I couldn't look away - it was the craziest shape the muffin has ever contorted to... I prefer the muffin looking like a muffin...I mean if it's gonna be a muffin top, then, look like a muffin top, not like a 25 lb tub of lard hanging from my middle ...
If this was supposed to be motivating? NEWSFLASH... IT WASN'T. It was horrifying... the muffin was way bigger and limper than I thought it was ..
GUESS I GOTTA GET ME SOME SPANX FOR PILATES CLASS.
Can I cuss now? F F F F F. I hurt. My neck hurts, my arms hurt, my sides ache, my back hurts, my quads hurt, my ASS hurts ... It is official pilates instructor lady, the lactic acid has officially built up in my glutes and I'M ON FIRE.
SOMEBODY GET ME A G.D. VICODIN ALREADY!!! Thank you Sweet Baby Jesus for a certain Gall Bladder Surgery and not polishing all of my pain killers off at once. I KNEW I'd need those blasted pills for a rainy day...D day.
TODAY IS D DAY... DAMNTHATPILATESCLASSSUCKEDMORETHANLABOR day.
Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to pop a pill I go ...
Monday, July 20, 2009
A friend loves at all times...
...and she, my dear friend, AS THE WIFE OF MR-APPLIANCE-GUY, (WHO IS ALSO A GOOD FRIEND AND HATES MY WHITE, THEY.WERE.THERE.WHEN.WE.MOVED.IN APPLIANCES...) WHEN DR. TEATS GETS THE ITCH TO REPLACE THE FRIDGE, WASHER AND DRYER ... SUGGESTS THE ELECTROLUX FRIDGE, AND W/D FOR HER HUBBY TO SUGGEST TO DR TEATS (B/C THAT'S WHAT BESTIE-WIFE-OF-MR-APPLIANCE-GUY HAS OF COURSE...) - YOU KNOW - THE KING DING DONG KELLY RIPPA BRAND THAT IS FREAKING AWESOME ... THE BRAND OF MY DRY VAC...B/C THAT'S THE ONLY PIECE OF THAT LINE I CAN AFFORD WITHOUT BLOWING UP BIG DADDY'S AMEX ...
AND SHE ALSO SUGGESTS ...
that now I just need to find a way to break my stove.
Sweet Jesus - does she LOVE ME? She loves me...at all times, she loves me. What a friend huh?
AND THIS IS WHY I LOVE HER. (besides the fact that she is photographer extraordinaire... she takes the most awesome pictures of my pistols and my family and airbrushes me to look thin and beautiful with white teeth even though you all know I have the biggest muffin top in Cali... and my teeth, well, they're straight, but 132,000 mochas later...not-so-white anymore)
AND WHY DO I LOVE HER HUBBY? MR-APPLIANCE-GUY?
Because upon asking bestie to ask mr-appliance-guy how exactly I can break said stove ...she responds via text (b/c that's how we roll)...
***I just asked and he just sort of looked at me dumbfounded...then the eyes rolled to the top right ...(means deep thought ...) and he said "without burning down the house or making it obvious, sorry, no."***
DO WE LOVE HIM? YES, WE ADORE HIM. HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT. DAMNNNNNN. HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT ... THAT JUST ROCKS! AND YOU KNOW HOW SICK I AM RIGHT?
SOOO, IF I BURN DOWN THE HOUSE, DOES THAT MEAN I CAN GET A NEW STOVE, ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD A NEW HOUSE???? GIDDY UP! WE MIGHT JUST BE ON TO SOMETHING HERE MR-APPLIANCE-GUY!!!
where is the devil face and horns on this damn keyboard?
AND SHE ALSO SUGGESTS ...
that now I just need to find a way to break my stove.
Sweet Jesus - does she LOVE ME? She loves me...at all times, she loves me. What a friend huh?
AND THIS IS WHY I LOVE HER. (besides the fact that she is photographer extraordinaire... she takes the most awesome pictures of my pistols and my family and airbrushes me to look thin and beautiful with white teeth even though you all know I have the biggest muffin top in Cali... and my teeth, well, they're straight, but 132,000 mochas later...not-so-white anymore)
AND WHY DO I LOVE HER HUBBY? MR-APPLIANCE-GUY?
Because upon asking bestie to ask mr-appliance-guy how exactly I can break said stove ...she responds via text (b/c that's how we roll)...
***I just asked and he just sort of looked at me dumbfounded...then the eyes rolled to the top right ...(means deep thought ...) and he said "without burning down the house or making it obvious, sorry, no."***
DO WE LOVE HIM? YES, WE ADORE HIM. HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT. DAMNNNNNN. HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT ... THAT JUST ROCKS! AND YOU KNOW HOW SICK I AM RIGHT?
SOOO, IF I BURN DOWN THE HOUSE, DOES THAT MEAN I CAN GET A NEW STOVE, ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD A NEW HOUSE???? GIDDY UP! WE MIGHT JUST BE ON TO SOMETHING HERE MR-APPLIANCE-GUY!!!
where is the devil face and horns on this damn keyboard?
Summertime .... is sooooo confusing!
So I always thought, summer vacation meant slowing down, relaxing, sleeping in a bit longer, not being so rushed to go - go - go ...WTF WAS I EVER THINKING? First summer after my kid finishes round 1 of preschool at age 3 (now 4) I hit the ground running one day after she's done with preschool and I haven't stopped - not even long enough to blog? Let alone READ the blogs I love. I have facebooked, but that's b/c I can do it from my Iphone. I fear blogging from the iphone b/c if big daddy caught me in this blog...OH SWEET JESUS HE MIGHT JUST KILL ME! :) The tales I've told, albeit true, still tales.
I guess it's this guilt factor coming over me...to just make sure my girlies have great memories like I have...but then, I got to thinking, what in the hell am I doing ...come next April, a 4 yr old is going to be bitching and moaning about how much she hates school ... and can't wait for summer ... and ALL OF THE THINGS WE'RE GOING TO DO ALL.SUMMER.LONG.
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT. I really bit the dust on this one didn't I. What I SHOULD have done is made the summer SUCK, with the high light, a big day at RollerTowne ...thrown in some fuzzy balls for the skates, er ehm, they probably don't have those anymore do they ... a snow cone and called it good. A big day should have been the sprinklers, or an ice cream truck. RIGHT? Instead we've been to the movies, to the beach 4 times, the cabin for a week, the lake, watched every version of highschool musical 78 times each, had play dates, and popsicles for lunch, and stayed up late...
I may, have created, monsters. (Like they weren't already monsters - let's be honest.)
I can already see August 16th ...LIVINGFREAKINGNIGHTMARE ...4 year old who was so sad for school to be out, is going to go into her new room kicking and screaming ... pissed at the world... because summer is officially OVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR and her life is AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWFUL!
So, here I am ...having figured it out ... I do fortunately or unfortunately have one more week trip planned boating at the lake ...can't get out of it...damn. Gonna have to suffer through it with my girls getting that much more jacked up. But until then a few days of making up for lost time, and simmering things down here a little bit in the world of teats, mochas and pistols ... making the days a little less fun, and a LOT MORE BORING, so that school is LOOKIN' GOOD A MONTH FROM NOW.
Now to go catch up on my favorite bloggers ...
I guess it's this guilt factor coming over me...to just make sure my girlies have great memories like I have...but then, I got to thinking, what in the hell am I doing ...come next April, a 4 yr old is going to be bitching and moaning about how much she hates school ... and can't wait for summer ... and ALL OF THE THINGS WE'RE GOING TO DO ALL.SUMMER.LONG.
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT. I really bit the dust on this one didn't I. What I SHOULD have done is made the summer SUCK, with the high light, a big day at RollerTowne ...thrown in some fuzzy balls for the skates, er ehm, they probably don't have those anymore do they ... a snow cone and called it good. A big day should have been the sprinklers, or an ice cream truck. RIGHT? Instead we've been to the movies, to the beach 4 times, the cabin for a week, the lake, watched every version of highschool musical 78 times each, had play dates, and popsicles for lunch, and stayed up late...
I may, have created, monsters. (Like they weren't already monsters - let's be honest.)
I can already see August 16th ...LIVINGFREAKINGNIGHTMARE ...4 year old who was so sad for school to be out, is going to go into her new room kicking and screaming ... pissed at the world... because summer is officially OVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR and her life is AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWFUL!
So, here I am ...having figured it out ... I do fortunately or unfortunately have one more week trip planned boating at the lake ...can't get out of it...damn. Gonna have to suffer through it with my girls getting that much more jacked up. But until then a few days of making up for lost time, and simmering things down here a little bit in the world of teats, mochas and pistols ... making the days a little less fun, and a LOT MORE BORING, so that school is LOOKIN' GOOD A MONTH FROM NOW.
Now to go catch up on my favorite bloggers ...
Monday, June 1, 2009
BBQ RULES
So I got this email today ... from Dr. Teats:
Babe, thought you would enjoy this,
BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain ofevents are put into motion: Routine...(1) The woman buys the food.(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert .(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. Here comes the important part:(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine....(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great.He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips t hemeat Important again:(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine...(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,sauces, and brings them to the table.(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all;(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cookingefforts.(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off ';and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
UM, WTF IS SO G.D.FUNNY ABOUT THIS? IT'S DEAD...ON!!!!!!!
I replied:
oh sweet Jesus - STORY.OF.MY.LIFE. You'll be lucky if I don't email (co-worker who emailed him this blurb) and thank him for the written recap of my memorial day. Alright...ENJOY YOUR MEETING. I'm "this close" to hitting the pool instead of organizing a closet or a pantry or a drawer. My ass is on fire - been in and out of bathroom for the last 2 hours straight. I think it needs some salt water.
He replied:
You make me laugh. HAVE A GOOD REST OF THE DAY!
Oh for the love ...I make him laugh. What a lie. Have a good rest of the day? haha. He totally doesn't think I'm funny - he's 2 miles away at his 'lab' hiding out in that office so he doesn't have to come home to this one. Don't blame him. The pistols have been puking and feverish for 2 days. (yes, again...lol and I swear I use purell like a freak.)
So on that note, I hit the pool. Cheers.
Babe, thought you would enjoy this,
BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain ofevents are put into motion: Routine...(1) The woman buys the food.(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert .(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. Here comes the important part:(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine....(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great.He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips t hemeat Important again:(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine...(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,sauces, and brings them to the table.(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all;(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cookingefforts.(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off ';and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
UM, WTF IS SO G.D.FUNNY ABOUT THIS? IT'S DEAD...ON!!!!!!!
I replied:
oh sweet Jesus - STORY.OF.MY.LIFE. You'll be lucky if I don't email (co-worker who emailed him this blurb) and thank him for the written recap of my memorial day. Alright...ENJOY YOUR MEETING. I'm "this close" to hitting the pool instead of organizing a closet or a pantry or a drawer. My ass is on fire - been in and out of bathroom for the last 2 hours straight. I think it needs some salt water.
He replied:
You make me laugh. HAVE A GOOD REST OF THE DAY!
Oh for the love ...I make him laugh. What a lie. Have a good rest of the day? haha. He totally doesn't think I'm funny - he's 2 miles away at his 'lab' hiding out in that office so he doesn't have to come home to this one. Don't blame him. The pistols have been puking and feverish for 2 days. (yes, again...lol and I swear I use purell like a freak.)
So on that note, I hit the pool. Cheers.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Gonna get myself a donut!
No no, not the kind you're thinking of. Although they always sound good, they make me blow it out the back like a salad shooter.
I went to the store this morning to buy some beautiful orchids for my daughter's preschool teachers ... call it keepin' up with the Dutch Mafia if you want (the super moms that drive the 30 ft long, shiny and immaculate Escalades with the killer boat sticker on the window, show up at 8am looking like they just stepped off a fashion show runway, but insist they're on their way to the gym *code for botox injections* and they bake the best cupcakes, have 2 camcorders at the programs just in case one dies, and bid $6000.00 on the classroom sponsored beach themed family basket at the school silent auction fundraiser. You know who I'm talking about.) ... but I refuse to be a TOTAL loser. I'd already gotten a flyer in my box earlier this week from the Dutch Mafia (mom of said Dutch 3 year classmate of the pistols...)that it was the preschool head teacher's 70th birthday and to remind the children to bring "hand made notes" (WTF? NO STARBUCKS CARDS? HAND MADE NOTES TAKE SOOOOO MUCH TIME...EYE YI YI.) This mommy was sooooo on top of it, she provided pizza, a home made cake for teacher, and baked cupcakes for the kids ... it's a wonder she didn't show up at the last day of school picnic today with home made lasagna and tiramisu ... and a tossed salad to boot. (You know we rocked McDonalds happy meals and Starbucks amidst the plethora of Longaberger picnic baskets filled with yogurts, apples, cheese and bottled water, beach umbrellas.)
Sooo, speaking of tossed salad ... (eh hem)
While at the store ... I see this guy who I pull in right next to ..he was drivin' kind of a cool lookin' new model VW so I'm kinda starin' it down and then starin' him down...because as he hustles off to the store doors, he's walkin' like he has a stick up his ass ... and, well, he may have moments earlier ... but this is what I need you to know. Upon purchasing my orchids and heading back to the car - I parked my cart between our cars to get the Bazooka in her car seat, and so I take an opportunity to glance into this little VW ... (it intrigued me) only to see a big 'ole yellow DONUT for him to sit on in his driver's seat. OH.MY.LORD. I literally laughed out loud and looked around to make sure I wasn't on candid camera.
Guess he DOESN'T have a numb ass like THE MOCHA FREAK. Bet he wishes he did.
I'm just saying.
I went to the store this morning to buy some beautiful orchids for my daughter's preschool teachers ... call it keepin' up with the Dutch Mafia if you want (the super moms that drive the 30 ft long, shiny and immaculate Escalades with the killer boat sticker on the window, show up at 8am looking like they just stepped off a fashion show runway, but insist they're on their way to the gym *code for botox injections* and they bake the best cupcakes, have 2 camcorders at the programs just in case one dies, and bid $6000.00 on the classroom sponsored beach themed family basket at the school silent auction fundraiser. You know who I'm talking about.) ... but I refuse to be a TOTAL loser. I'd already gotten a flyer in my box earlier this week from the Dutch Mafia (mom of said Dutch 3 year classmate of the pistols...)that it was the preschool head teacher's 70th birthday and to remind the children to bring "hand made notes" (WTF? NO STARBUCKS CARDS? HAND MADE NOTES TAKE SOOOOO MUCH TIME...EYE YI YI.) This mommy was sooooo on top of it, she provided pizza, a home made cake for teacher, and baked cupcakes for the kids ... it's a wonder she didn't show up at the last day of school picnic today with home made lasagna and tiramisu ... and a tossed salad to boot. (You know we rocked McDonalds happy meals and Starbucks amidst the plethora of Longaberger picnic baskets filled with yogurts, apples, cheese and bottled water, beach umbrellas.)
Sooo, speaking of tossed salad ... (eh hem)
While at the store ... I see this guy who I pull in right next to ..he was drivin' kind of a cool lookin' new model VW so I'm kinda starin' it down and then starin' him down...because as he hustles off to the store doors, he's walkin' like he has a stick up his ass ... and, well, he may have moments earlier ... but this is what I need you to know. Upon purchasing my orchids and heading back to the car - I parked my cart between our cars to get the Bazooka in her car seat, and so I take an opportunity to glance into this little VW ... (it intrigued me) only to see a big 'ole yellow DONUT for him to sit on in his driver's seat. OH.MY.LORD. I literally laughed out loud and looked around to make sure I wasn't on candid camera.
Guess he DOESN'T have a numb ass like THE MOCHA FREAK. Bet he wishes he did.
I'm just saying.
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