My Purple-ish Prayer for today ...

So I was off to take the pistol to preschool this morning ... late as usual, no mocha yet, so I'm in a bit of a crabby mood ...but that was about to change. We're listening to the radio ... and goodness knows, as much as I wanted to be listening to Top 20 on my XM ... my husband had been driving the car the night before and had it on "The Message" (the Christian station) - God love him, we were on our way from taking dinner to some friends and had the pistols with us, and I had it on top 20, and Katy Perry popped on and my husband changed it as fast as he could to "The Message" haha. He's afraid the pistols are going to kiss a girl and like it. Anyway - so this song comes on this morning - AWESOME worship song ..I'll admit it, I was singing ...and the eldest pistol shouts (b/c she as only one volume) "MOM, IS THIS JESUS SINGING?"
MF:"No, it's a guy singing about Jesus"
Pistol1: "No mom I'm pretty sure it's Jesus ..."
MF: "No sweet pea, it really is a guy that's just singing a song about how we need to worship Jesus."
Pistol1"Mom ... did you know sometimes Jesus sings with me in my room?"
MF: "Oh really ... what do you sing???"
Pistol1"How do I know???" (from Enchanted...) "Also mom, did you know he has his own room?"
MF: "Oh yah? Where is it?"
Pistol: "Behind the bathroom ...do you know what color his bed is?"
MF: "No ..is it white?"
Pistol: "no mom, MY bed is white - HIS is purple. And did you know Jesus likes to play too? And He lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvves my toys mom."
MF:"Which of your toys does he like best?"
Pistol:"My purple bear (this is a sparkly lavendar build a bear dressed in sleeping beauty attire)"

I cracked up. It made my day. How comforting (I think...) to know Jesus has a room in my house ... a little concerned also, that He thinks he needs to have his own space here - He obviously knows the momma of the house - well actually maybe He's here for big daddy - seriously - you know that old addage "If momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy ..." in our house ... "If Dr. Teats ain't happy ain't nobody happy..." So I'm hoping Jesus is here more for him that me. haha.

Now, if Jesus could just get rid of my 'lil pistol's night terrors - well I know He CAN ..I just wish He would think now was a good time to answer our prayers. The pistol informed me yesterday that if only her bed was PURPLE, then maybe she wouldn't be scared or get out of her bed ...

MY PRAYER FOR TODAY:
SWEET JESUS, OBVIOUSLY YOU LOVE PURPLE, LET'S GO TO POTTERY BARN ...NOW! DAMN IT. AMEN.

Five point Sunday ...(it is Sunday right?)

Five points about nothing much this fine Sunday afternoon:

1) I itch like a MF ... (thank you Monogram chic for pointing out my initials ... in this instance MF doesn't stand for Mocha Freak) ..I am dying - every last one of my seven incisions is ON FIRE...I'm perfectly fine with being a hot mess every once in awhile, but not THIS kind of hot mess - is it possible to be allergic to the little surgical tape they put over your incisions to heal them? CAH-RAP! Other than that however, a lovely recovery. haha.

2) It is NOT amusing when someone tells you the Starbucks closest to your house is closing Nov. 1 due to the economy... "eh heh ONLY JOKING" he says. What a jackass. I wanted to call him that to his face but I was at church....I still could have - I'm just saying ... he was, after all, one of my faithful volunteers... I NEED him. So I laughed ..."ha ha ha ..." as heartily as I could and then blamed the lack of enthusiasm on the lack of a gall bladder.

3) I called my dog 'sissy' yesterday ...SISSY - ARE YOU KIDDING - that is reserved for the PISTOLS, not dogs. Needless to say, THE DOGS WENT OUT. There is now a hole in the pool fence, the seeded grass that was not quite done is dug up, there is dog hair on my patio furniture (looks like Restoration Hardware for the price of Home depot furniture - still - way cuter without black lab dog hair) b/c the dogs got so cozy in the house they decided to make a home for themselves outside, and Dr. Teats, well, let's just say ... he's one TICKED OFF DUTCHMAN.

4) Thank you sweet BABY JESUS that Sportsman Warehouse opened last night ...just in time ..SIMMA DOWN NOW DR. TEATS ...

5) I'm sure you're all hoping for a positive MF (that's mocha freak, THIS time...) in the days to come ...she's in here somewhere...I promise.

Can I just tell you ... I have an annoying neighbor, a hilarious 3 year old, a dog with a smelly booty and a HUGE STOMACH AFTER THE FREAKING AWESOME CHICKEN ENCHILADAS MY GIRLFRIEND DROPPED OFF TODAY? CRAP. (crap is right ...I'm so screwed later, and not screwed in a good way, screwed in a sit on the toilet with a bowl on my lap sort of way ...as I type, a large, red, plastic popcorn bowl sits on the tank of the toilet - JUST IN CASE.) But the good news is girls ... I had a mocha today baby, and I had it in a VERY, very cute preppy travel mug...was I traveling anywhere? Only from the couch, to the kitchen, to the front lawn (you can do the math after reading on ...) to the toity, to the couch again ...and boy I didn't look cute, BUT MY MOCHA DID.

1) Queen of the culdesac (looky-loo-Lucy, Rubber-necky-Becky ..you all have one in your life ...) - made her way over to see why when she rang my door bell at 2:30 in the afternoon one day past said surgery and the dogs started barking wildly (see post about outdoor dogs indoors due to reseeding backyard) and Mochafreaksmomma went BALLISTIC ON HER ABOUT COMING BACK TO BEG FOR JOG-A-THON MONEY NEXT WEEK ..MOCHAFREAK JUST HAD SURGERY AND IS TRYING TO SLEEP AS ARE LIL PISTOLS - it IS 2:30 IN THE AFTERNOON AFTER ALL...so I explain to QOTCDS - with as little detail as I am able. Her mission is now accomplished ...she's GOT to go ... even has the nerve to apologize for her greasy hair and what she looks like ... haha - I should show you a picture of what I LOOKED like but then you'd be throwing up with me and there is really no need for that tonight. One of us is enough. Who knows you may have had da-lish-ous chicken enchiladas too and what a shame it would be to toss them.

2) Dr. Teats informs me today that the 3 year old barreled into his room last night at midnight (I'm still on the sectional ladies ...propped up and loving it ...as it means Chelsey Lately cackling at 11:30 with NO dirty looks or growls ...) So big daddy has told Pistol #1 that while mommy doesn't feel good - if she has an issue - it's ok to come bug him - in otherwords, march march march (can you picture it?) right past mommy from one side of the house, (pistols bedrooms) to the OTHER side of the house (our bedroom) family room in the middle where mommy has parked her not-as-fat-as-last-wednesday-arse for a few days. So she marched alright RIGHT PAST ME and proceeds to bark at him "DADDY, MOVE OVER." he goes "What do you mean move over, No, what's wrong?" She barks "Daddy - I want to get in bed move over ..." (another little side note - this is VERY out of the ordinary for us - rule in our house - no pistols in daddy's bed - mommy doesn't mind but he just doesn't go for that ... NOT EVEN WHEN BREASTFEEDING - WHICH IS A WHOLE "NOTHER" POST ...which makes this even funnier )... so he says " Why???" (totally annoyed) and she says "DADDYY PUH-LEASE - BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY WARMED UP WHERE YOU ARE!!! MOOOOOVE ALREADY!" Ok it makes me LOL again just typing it ... I LOVE that he moved over to the other side, they both slept like champs, which means MOMMA DID TOO. (RARITY AROUND HERE ...whoo hoo!)


3) I'm totally done with these dogs in the house ...(10 more days Lord help me )... Lola-rotten-crotch sent me over the edge this morning at 4:30am. She is WAY worse than the Dutch-oven... (when Dr. Teats lifts the sheets in the morning and wipes me out ...)

4)Do I even need to address the chicken enchilada casserole ...I think I've said enough. :)

5) My TGEWM tasted EXTRA delicioso (yes we watch Dora) in my new personalized in chocolate and turquoise preppy travel mug designed by the one and only MONOGRAMCHICK ...love it girl ... see her great stuff at www.monogramchick.com She can make a girl feel rockin', even when she's havin' a not-so-rockin'-day. ;)

Time for a Vicodin ...
Hugs,
Mochafreak

"But ..."

Well, Dr. Teats has redeemed himself, doing laundry, bringing my mochas, CLEANING THE KITCHEN (well kinda),taking great care of the little pistols. Butttttttttt, (isn't there ALWAYS A BUT?) this morning he about punched a hole in the wall. Here is what went down ...he'd just arrived home from dropping off the oldest pistol at preschool (thank you Jesus for preschool) , two steaming coffees in hand ...he'd already handed me mine and then went back to get his and the lil pistol, so he sets the lil pistol down on the floor, and around the corner with excitement tears Lola the VERY large Boxer ... knocks the baby into the wall, Dr. Teats Venti Coffee goes flying everywhere ... baby screaming (huge goose egg on her head poor thing), dog running for her life, Dr. Teats shaking with RAGE and anger, with baby screaming in his arms ... part hurt part terrified I'm sure, as was I ...

Meanwhile, I'm lounging in my assumed position in corner wedge of sectional, sipping my triple grande extra whip mocha ... and calmly ask ..."hey ... want me to make you some coffee?" He replies as he sits the crying baby next to me and hits a wall REALLY hard and may or may not have dropped F bomb on his way back to clean up the coffee ..."THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!! I HAVE NO COFFEE LEFT ... THAT DAMN DOG DUMPED THE WHOLE THING ..."

I thought that was the point, he had no coffee, so I was gonna make him some, I'm just sayin' ....

On another note, he just brought me in a card from Coach, it says "$50 off your purchase of $150 or more" ...I told him I'd get right on that ...he said "don't say I never gave you anything ..." Guess he's simmered down ... too bad the coffee never had a chance to ...(I'd belly laugh but it still hurts.)

Mocha in a tube ...(I'll take it anyway I can get it ...)

Well girlfriends, I am one gall bladder short, 3 hernias repaired, and whooped up on Vidodin ...so the way I see it ... life is pretty good because in theory, based on the size of the gall stone the surgeon saved for me, that looks like two skittles melted together, (this was only one of MANY) I ought to be about 10lbs lighter, my gutt should now be flatter as the hernias are no longer bulging my stomach out, and did I mention I'm whooped up on Vicodin? Again - I think things are looking good....

I also must note, one of my BFF's who we'll refer to as "The Diva" is the best cook - and she came over to fuss over me and the pistols last night since Dr. Teats was out of town ... she showed up with an extrawhip mocha for yours truly, she made the most delicious rigatoni I've ever had (that's my fave) not to mention baking Halloween cookies with my pistol, making another casserole which went into the freezer for later, a home made peach cobbler ...and garlic/butter sourdough bread ... WOW ... my house smelled better than it ever has ... I told her I'd see her same time next Friday. Damn what a great night. Oh - and she brought me a copy of People, Us and Redbook? Does she ROCK???? Yes, yes she does.

I have stories about the surgery experience, but better wait til I'm clear headed so as not to offend anyone ... but I'll torment you with the fact that my anesthesiologist was Dr. Ding, she was about 40, cute as can be, glasses, came in in her scrubs, little hat, with her black nine west purse on her shoulder, and the first thing she said to me was "GOOOD MOH-NING ... I COME TO GIVE YOU HAPPPPPPPPPY MEDICINE ...I BET YOU NOT HAVE YOU STAWBUCKS YET ...I GIVE YOU STAWBUCKS IN TWO MINUTES ....MMMMM STAWBUCKS - I PUT IN YOH I.V.!!!!" I was laughing so hard I would have peed the bed if I hadn't just peed in a cup ... she made the whole crappy morning so much better. :)

Anyway - thanks for the prayers - I was well taken care of and all went well.

Mochafreak

p.s. - Dr Teats rolled in from his hunting trip at 1:30pm today ... he was happy to report he shot THREE, (yes you read that correctly) ...THREE DUCKS. More on that tomorrow ...first we have to see how tonight unfolds because I'm pretty sure I'll have more material. Hopefully you won't read about us in the papers tomorrow morning ....

Good News in the Drive Thru!

Just a follow up on the last post ...Dr. Teats just called for two reasons ...1) he wanted to let me know that his work today is up north - within miles of his duck blind ...and there are DUCKS EVERYWHERE, so he's really excited about hunting this weekend, and I quote "that is, if everything goes well and I can ACTUALLY go hunting ..." and 2) That a dear friend of ours, was in front of him at 5:30 in Starbucks drive thru this morning ... she bought his coffee, then pulled forward far enough to let him pull up to the window and wait for his coffee, jumped out of her car, and wanted him to know that gall bladder surgery is serious business, and they say it's all an easy recovery but that I'd better take it easy ...and to please call her if I needed anything (totally sincere) BUT, THAT SHE'D LOST 12 lbs as a result ... Dr. Teats couldn't have been more elated at that news ... Bless her heart - she's trying to throw me a bone, even bought his dang coffee to get his attention, and he misses the ENTIRE POINT. Dare I refer back to a certain 'bird on point' ...because that's about what I'm thinkin' girlfriends ....

Cheers ...and if I write something tomorrow, it would be safe to say I'll be doped up so don't take me too seriously ...

Lord Bless This Mess ....

Every night (well those that he is home haha) after Dr. Teats says grace before dinner ...(yes, we pray in our family ... and you're all thinking LORD KNOWS SHE NEEDS IT ...) the Pistol 1 says "Lord Bless, this food and drink, for Jesus' sake, AMEN!" She does not say it with conviction, however she says it with zest. Clearly, Mochafreak didn't teach it to her, I'd be teaching her some chant like, "STARBUCKS RULES, FOR MOMMY'S SAKE, AND DADDY'S, OH AND OUR SAKE TOO, AMEN." I think Dr. Teats must have chanted this little prayer when he was a little Dutch boy just before he went out to milk cows and feed the calves ... so he thinks it's cute to have his pistols do it to. He's all about routine, I, on the other hand, AM NOT. I'm more of a, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-big-girl-pants kind of chick.

So this is what I'm thinking last night as my pistol is rolling her eyes, flipping her hair back and forth nearly throwing herself off of the barstool ... and doing her 'heart felt' prayer ... how 'bout a "LORD BLESS THIS MESS of a mom I have!" ...as we had egg sandwiches for dinner, (gross), the house is a mess, I'm a mess (showered but that's as good as it got), our huge boxer and black lab are in the house because the back yard is getting seeded and they can't be outside for 3 weeks, and I'm WIPED out ... not for any good reason necessarily - I think it's that "overwhelmed" feeling, because I know I need to get this MESS cleaned up before tomorrow ... when I have that pain in the arse gall bladder and the stones that come with it removed (and the added bonus of a hernia repair at the same time) ... b/c chances are - someone will DROP in other than my loving momma who doesn't judge her mess of a daughter ... and I don't want to be embarrassed. All I really want to do today is go buy two new cute lounge outfits for the next few days ...haha. I know you know what I'm talking about ...somehow recovery always feels better when you feel cute. :)

Two points of interest:
1) surgery is on Thursday, guess who's going to his duck blind located 2 hours away Friday (spending the night) and Saturday? It is opening of Duck Season after all ...

2)Ask me how much food I have in my pantry and fridge? (reference egg sandwiches for dinner last night....)

CRAP. Do ya think I had better stop whining and get my butt in gear? Ha. I still think I'm blessed, mess and all.

Have a good day, and my the Good Lord bless your mess too ...:)